Banging: The Appearance of Criminal Minds
by grey-eyed-goddess
Summary: This is chapter 13 of a fic that's usually reserved for the Wicked section, but somehow Reid ended up in this chapter so I'm posting it here. Summary: I'm sure the Wicked Witch of the Wheel Chair would love to meet you. She's the crazy one in the chair.


Title: Banging

Summary: There are two kinds of pretty: the kind you won't to stare at all day, and then the kind you won't to take into a dark alley and bang.

Rating: M

Archive: Yes (hahahaha)

Author's Note: I've realized that I just start typing away without finishing things. I don't know if I should post this chapter in the Criminal Minds section too because it's definitely both now. Reid is inside my mind. Oh noes! Now the fandoms won't leave me alone!

For people who have no idea what this is, this is the result of my mind when I try to write too many things at once late at night because I cannot multitask. Sorry about the randomness. I'll probably delete this from the CM section tomorrow because I don't won't the sully my new appearance like I did in Wicked.

Screw it. I have no appearance. This was also to help me learn how to write dialogue, but now it's just out of control.

Nevermind.

**Chapter Twenty Billion**

"What the hell is that?"

"That's my fan fiction…Being typed." Elphaba rolled her eyes and head back as she sighed.

"No, really? What the hell is that?"

"That's the name of the main character, Zack Addy." I glanced at her. "From Bones. It's a television show. I'm writing this AU story because his character got owned in the face for no good reason." I nodded. "Helps me sleep at night. This is the last chapter, and I'm trying to make everythingWHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR!? DID YOU JUST PUNCH ME IN THE FACE?"

"Why aren't you writing the next chapter for Perfectly Normal or Our New Lives? Hell, you still need to finish those Law and Order: Criminal Intent fics you never finished that you started before you started Wicked. Why are you starting new stuff?"

"Did you just punch me in the face?"

"New stuff?"

"I'm just finishing up. I need it done by the end of July for the AUBones challenge on Live Journal."

"That's it?"

"Yeah."

"Then what are these?" She held up two printouts from online.

"Nothing."

"Nothing? These aren't fan fictions? For another television show."

"They're only one-shots and drabbles!"

"New fics?"

"It was two in the morning. I was weak!"

"So, how's the Criminal Minds fandom going?" She tossed them onto the ground. "Is Dr. Reid okay? How about Bones? How's Dr. Addy? Oh, wait, how are Bobby and Alex? What are you going to do next? Write another story about Dumbledore and McGonagall? No! You've already done that one in the middle of finishing a Wicked fic!" I sobbed.

"I can't help myself! I've tried, but I can't stop!"

"Don't start any more new things until you finish this Bones thing, okay?"

"Mhhhmmm…"

"Then go back and do Law and Order: CI, and then you can start finishing this Wicked stuff."

"I'm sorry."

"Then maybe you'll be able to start all of this Criminal Minds nonsense."

"Yes Elphaba."

"Minerva?"

"Keep in mind you start college in a month. You're pre-med. Don't fuck up."

"Okay."

"Okay what?"

"Okay Elphaba."

-four hours later-

"Hi!"

"Elphaba, I swear it's just Bon-What the hell? How did you get in my house?"

"Uuumm…I'm just kinda here. I can't really explain it, but statistically speaking-"

"Spencer, quiet. There are no statistics on fictional characters appearing in my house randomly in the middle of rain storms while I'm…Spencer Reid, right?"

"Yes."

"Hmmm…" The highly attractive Dr. Spencer Reid was sitting in my house.

"Why am I here?"

"I'll get back to you on that." I spun around. "Okay, so, I'm writing this story about you, but I haven't started it yet and this is the first time that someone not from Wicked has shown up. Oh shit! I'll be right back."

He stared at me, and I just held out my hands in front of me in defeat.

"Just sit there and don't touch anything."

I glanced in my room as I ran past. Zack Addy, Fiyero, and Boq-check. Nessa in the shower, Elphaba in the kitchen, and…

Double take.

"You. Zack Addy. By my computer now. Just sit next to the guy in the sweater vest and stay for a minute." I sighed.

Things were getting out of hand. At least the NYPD wasn't here yet.

But the FBI was.

Damn.

Okay…Clear head, clear head, clear head, and I am not crazy. There are not fictional characters anywhere in my house. I glanced back through-no one.

"Okay, Spencer Reid can stay."

"Ohhh! What's this?"

"That's a story about you…That I'm writing…" _'…You incredibly attractive man…'_

"Me?"

"Yeah, um, just move back a little, and I'll type it."

'_Minerva, this is not the plan.'_

'_Yeah, but this plan has Spencer Reid in it, and now I can write my Criminal Minds story.'_

'_Minerva...'_

'_Elphaba, I want you to Google image search 'Matthew Gray Gubler' and then get back to me.'_

'_Fine, but don't be upset when less people read things because you update only once every fifty years.'_

'_I won't. I'll have Spencer Reid which makes it better.'_

"A story about me?"

"Yeah, I've already written two. This is just another drabble, one shot-y thing."

"Oh." He adjusted his glasses. "What about?"

"You and your neighbor, Kathy. Well, not that now. Right now I'm just doing this meme that someone else did and sounded fun. In theirs-go read it-you're paired up with Morgan." I watched Reid's face change from its pale color to some odd imitation of a growing tomato when I was done.

"Boy, I love you, but if you ever try to kiss me it's over."

"Morgan, what are you doing here?"

"Heard my name and thought I should show up before you got into trouble with the pretty lady."

"Aw, now Morgan, if you weren't always such a flatterer I might believe you."

"What can I say, I enjoy pleasing women." He nudged Spencer's shoulder. "Especially the ones that Reid here leaves them unsatisfied."

"I don't know. Dr. Reid is just that kind of pretty that I want to sit and stare at all day, and he's quite good at just sitting there and looking good." I paused. "I guess that makes me satisfied."

"What's the other kind of pretty?"

"The kind that you want to take out into a dark alley and bang."

"You almost sound like Garcia."

"You're almost that pretty."

"Guys, I'm feeling really uncomfortable right now."

"It's okay Spencer. Everyone always feels awkward here-it's my mind."

"That's fairly uncomfortable in itself."

"Is it not though? Now, sit back while I write."

_1. As Long As You're Mine-Wicked_

_Spencer Reid pushed one hand back through his hair as he watched her make her way into the kitchen from her abandoned spot on the couch, and he listened to the sounds of her picking up a half empty wine bottle and two glasses they had abandoned earlier. He swallowed. Her bare feet barely made a sound on the floor as she walked back towards him and smiled. This should not have worked out so well, but it had. He rolled his lips against each other while catching his breath. He didn't think he would ever be this brave-with her. So he spoke without thinking for the first time in his life._

"_I love you." He breathed again. "I love you, Elle."_

"I'm done with the first one."

"That quickly?"

"I only had until the end of the song, Dr. Reid."He blushed again.

"Elle?" The first time he spoke his voice cracked. "Elle?"

"Yeah, you got a better idea to fit the song?"

"…No…"

"Then sit back and let me type. I'm sure the Wicked Witch of the Wheel Chair would love to meet you. You can't miss her."

"Because she's in a wheelchair?"

"No, because she's a little crazy."

"Oh" He nodded. "Great."

"Yeah, just don't take her dancing."

-TBC-


End file.
